goodbyemisery:

i went into a whole foods and got to hear a woman arguing with a guy at the meat counter because she wanted grass fed organic chicken and he was desperately trying to explain to her that chickens don’t eat grass

proctalgia:

girls dont want you to be nice to them because they’re girls they want you to be nice to them because they’re human beings and you should be nice to everyone wtf is wrong with you

richwhitelesbian:

we need some new and more powerful swears

unclefather:

why are you doing this? please stop. if it’s money you want, name your price. just stop doing this to him. he doesn’t deserve this.
swag-canada:

he’s the one they warn us about in math problems 

krvsty:

peacocks look like they speak french

impaire:

I hate school because it’s that time of the year where you realize you aren’t just ugly, you’re also stupid.

  • 14 years old: I'm young but I know what I want. This isn't that hard, I'm all grown up already and have everything figured out.
  • 17 years old: Well, this is a little harder than I thought. School is almost ending. What am I going to do with my life?
  • 21 years old: What the fuck is going on? Where are my socks?
  • analish:

    what-mom:

    analish:

    imagine ariana grande without eyebrows

    image

    fuck

    aphrodisijack:

    stop replacing mirrors with ‘you look fine’ signs i know i look fine that’s why i want to look in the mirror

    slaughteroftheweeaboos:

    ppl my age have children what the hell i am a children